Looking for joy :: DPP Day Two

That big word in the middle, you know, the one beginning with J and ending in y with an o in between ... well it eluded me today.  In all honesty I was waiting for a crash, I've seen it all before since I am no stranger in dealing with a crisis!

The day is done, I'll bid you a good night and catch up with you tomorrow :-)

Looking for joy :: December Photo Project 2015

The reminder flagged on the face book page and my heart did a happy dance!  This year we are combining DPP 2015 with the advent challenge organised by stewardship.org.uk

The prompt for today was to write a thank you for our postie!  Pip rose to the challenge with this one and had fun in the making.  A chocolate bar will be added to the package and it will be taped to our front door for collection :-)

Early morning art session.

The end result.

Looking for joy :: Hygge

Hygge a Danish word pronounced (Hoo-gaa) cannot really be translated into one singular concept, it is a way of life; being kind to oneself, spending time with others and  slowing down and appreciating the little things.

The Danes are experts in introducing warmth into their surroundings not only from fire light and candles but also the use of natural materials such as wool and wood. Accents such as red, cream and silver finish the look quite admirably:

 

 

This article explains in greater detail the whole concept of Hygge and  if you watch this video you will also see that hygge can be provided in the most unusual places and circumstances!  Just think what could happen if some of these tactics were employed worldwide :-)

I first came across hygge when I led the Shalom prayer meeting a few weeks ago. In addition to the talk I laid a table with our glass martinmas lantern, a tray of soul cakes and a church candle.  We were a small group that night and my friend Sallie suggested that we all draw near and she shared the concept of hygge ~ the gathering together almost in a huddle, around a source of light, a time to share and encourage.

I was truly struggling to find joy yesterday.  The past two weeks had caught up with me and I was not only struggling with my own health problems but exhausted as well.  I gathered my spirits and transformed what little energy I had into a mini baking session for the family and that whole concept of nourishment for the body as well as the soul has remained with me this weekend.  Looking for and experiencing hygge gave me the peace I needed and it is to this end that I share some pictures from our weekend:

 Best ever gluten free cheese scones!

 Red pepper, tomato,carrot and basil soup.

 Cheese and sweetcorn fritters for today's lunch served with a very tasty leek and potato soup courtesy of Benedict.

 Cosy, cluttered and convivial!

Benedict working on "scratch" computer programming; Pip and Dave working on a Christmas jigsaw. 

Hope you had a good weekend and Advent Blessings to you xx  

Looking for joy :: Thankful

Dave was finally given the go ahead to start steroid treatment!  He has had eight doses in the last 36 hours and we have already noticed some improvements, he has managed to be downstairs twice today :-)

It is the weekend, so no school run for two whole days!!!  Totally relieved as
 I am totally exhausted.

A friend dropped off a casserole this morning and took with her a basket of ironing.  She has also kindly offered to sort out Pip's star costume for the school nativity play. 

I even managed our usual Thanksgiving meal as we remember and are thankful for friends both near and far:

Chicken and mushroom casserole, garlic carrots, cauliflower and potato mash with braised red cabbage.

 

 Pumpkin pie with dairy free vanilla ice cream.

 

So thankful for all your prayers and loving thoughts from afar, they have for sure held me together this week :-)  I even received some words of encouragement in the mail:

 "Wisdom for each day, Billy Graham" and ... 

 ... this card from my dear friend Jacqui  The parcel arrived at just the right time as I was beginning to despair with the petty bureaucracy within the NHS.  I even managed to chat with her on the phone and as usual the line was crystal clear :-)

 

 This welcome angel is pouring blessings down upon our home and is a much treasured card from my long standing friend Rondie, her hubby Carl and Son Jamie.  She is the one friend from my youth and she has supported me through thick and thin.  We were even pregnant at the same time with our big kids and so there is a fair bit of history between us :-)  She tells me that, she checks her email each morning and then pops on here to see what we have been up to!  

Extremely thankful that we held on to Benedict's spare insulin pump because yes, you guessed it the other one is currently waiting to be collected by courier this evening!  We telephoned to report a problem with the pump and a message was dispatched to the courier.  There was a six hour window and he is travelling from Birmingham which is not the greatest journey on a Friday evening :-(

So very thankful that the diabetes nurse answered her phone this afternoon and that she was able to email me all the relevant info regarding basal rates, insulin ratios and other info in order to programme the back up pump and then the new one.  So another crisis averted and please can I have just a little bit of boringly normal for a change?

Last but not least the biggest thanks go to my mum and dad for being there at the end of the phone on an almost daily basis.  Their love and prayers have sustained me through some very difficult moments and I am truly grateful xx

Looking for joy :: A trip out

Dealing with virtual immobility presents many challenges not only around the home but outside too, one has to start thinking about wheelchair accessible places including parking and toilet facilities.  It is the little things that we so often take for granted that are often the most problematic, the daily struggle of washing, dressing and moving around that take twice as long.  In order for Dave to be out of the house for 8:30 last Friday morning he had to be out of bed by 6:00 am at the latest.  Those tasks that previously took him half an hour when he was fully fit now take two hours.  So it was with great joy that we managed a lunch time treat at Barton Grange.  We both had a nut roast with cranberry stuffing and all the trimmings, can't you tell it is the holiday season and it isn't even Advent!

 As always the Barton Grange chefs make amazing food.  Next time I'm there I will try to remember to photograph their patisserie section it is mouthwatering!

Twenty seven years ago we said "I will ... in sickness and in health" and for most of that time we have been dogged by serious health issues, first me and now him.  Despite it all, I wouldn't have it any other way.  

 

Looking for joy :: Comfort

The Challenges:

Dave still awaiting test results which will indicate the go ahead for steroid treatment.  The NHS wheels are running slowly and the relapse clock is ticking.

Pip crying and not wanting to go to school.

Benedict having a major grumble about pot washing and home school work.

My dealing with acute pain in my hip made worse on driving and general moving around.

The constant up and down stairs with drinks, meals, snacks and other needed items.

The Successes:

Benedict actually completed some school work, cue the hallelujah chorus!!  Design and Technology, English Literature and History were ticked off the list today :-)

I managed to take Pip to her swimming lesson and we even had time to have a drink and a snack in the tea rooms.

Benedict kept a watch on the tea and organised some extra frozen veggies as part of the meal.

I picked up the camera and recorded one good thing  during the day:

 Raw cacao hot chocolate, sweetened with coconut sugar and topped with mini marshmallows.

 

Looking for joy :: Hope

Still feeling numb with it all but we are slowly finding our new (hopefully temporary) normal.  As ever I run on practical mode and have worked out ways of making life easier, such as shutting down the back part of the downstairs so we now have the caravan table and dining chairs in the front room/schoolroom/playroom.  During the daytime we keep Dave company upstairs and then we gather downstairs for tea, after which it is back upstairs again!  It has been interesting to see Benedict settling earlier of an evening, I guess it is something I have always known, that he relies on the reassuring presence of a parent to help him settle at night :-)

Today Pip and I made our way over to our fortnightly "Little Flowers Group."  I am so blessed to know three lovely gals who exhibit such loving kindness and Pip loves spending time with her friends, it is a precious time. We are still studying St Monica and our memory verse is:

"For you are my hope, O Lord, my trust since my youth."

Psalm 71 v 5

The flower represented for hope is the ivy and it is a reminder to us that we need to cling to the Lord.  God is good!  He is using the lessons in the meetings to remind me that He truly is near and that we are not alone.  Such comfort, when little else makes sense right now.

 

Can A Girl Change Her Mind?!

It was my mum's comment yesterday, "what about your friends how will they know what is going on?"  It got me thinking and made me realise that writing and sharing here no matter how difficult is a way of continuing to look outward.  Who knows maybe someone else going through a similar struggle might feel less alone?

 Our Martinmas lantern, trying to hold onto the inner light x

Saying Goodbye

I haven't been here much this past year and several times I have debated whether to shut down the blog, but a spark has always remained I have managed to keep going, but not anymore.  Dave has had a massive MS relapse and in addition to attempting to provide an education for Benedict, supporting Pip through the daily woes of school and now the school run at either end of the day, providing meals, dealing with housework, working 16 hours a week to keep the Government happy and living with chronic pain, I am now involved in care tasks for Dave.

  We are currently awaiting input from occupational therapy, neuro physio therapists, a brain scan, possible steroid treatment and a referral to another MS specialist for assessment regarding disease modifying drugs. I struggle through most days and no longer want the added burden of sharing our life on line.

Thank you the stalwarts who have faithfully encouraged us from afar over the years, some of you have even become friends :-)  I will pop by and visit you when I can!

This blog will be left up in cyber space for a week and then I will set it to private.  I am hoping to have the content here transferred to "blurb" or something similar so that Benedict and Pip have a record of part of their childhood.

God Bless

San xx

Birth -Days

Although she is at one end of the globe and I am at the other, my dear friend Sue and I not only share a love for the faith but a baby born on the same day albeit ten years apart!

Twenty six years ago today I gave birth to this "I'm forging my own path" gal!  She never ceases to surprise us with her varied interests and love for learning.  It was Sara, who patiently taught and encouraged me to knit socks on double pointed needles, up until that time I had been quite content knitting on two!   This was the same gal who struggled to master knitting at the age of 13 and so taught herself to crochet instead, so much easier when you are left handed :-)  Soon after she rocked that challenge of the two sticks and has gone on to design her own knitting projects in the form of a tube skirt, free form round cushions on her honeymoon camping trip and a jumper for Pip complete with a monogram motif.  

Sara meandered many paths in young adulthood from pottery and art, to youth ministry and class room assistant, finally settling on the more permanent and well suited path of horticulture and garden design.  She always challenges me to think the best of others and " not to sweat the small stuff."  She also has a very generous heart and instead of selfishly sharing her birthday solely with her beloved husband, they welcomed her baby brother along for the ride and he had an ace day in Manchester, visiting the Lego and Disney stores amongst other things.

Dave, Pip and I did our usual trip for the little flowers meet and on the way home we popped into Barton Grange to buy a last minute present for Sara!  I forgot to take any pictures of the goodies but we bought a wooden painted folk fairy to hang on the door, a cute fox hand sewn ornament and an irresistible snowman Christmas jumper!  Apparently, Tom had to dissuade Sara form buying one in Manchester, just in case she was given one as a present!!  Little did he know :-)

  

Whilst I have shared the joy of remembering times past and a big hug from my littlest big girl, my dear friend Sue shares a completely different story.  Thomas would have been sixteen years old today.  He was born on the 9th of November 1999 and died a day later.  His projected short lifespan was not unknown, as Sue  discovered that he had a diaphragmatic hernia at her eighteen week ultrasound.  Medical science has moved on in the intervening years and  nowadays surgery can be done to repair the opening.  Sadly this was not the case for Thomas and yet despite the prognosis, Sue and her husband Andy went ahead with the pregnancy.  In a world where the life of the unborn is at risk and so many babies are aborted, they chose life for Thomas and in so doing he was born into the loving arms of a mother, father and the wider family.

In addition to the family visit to the graveside and a picnic on his birthday, over the years many teddy bears were bought at Christmas, Easter and Birthdays as a way of honouring his short life and presence in the family.  Needless to say, the family have amassed many teddies over the years and so it was earlier in the years that Sue had the wonderful generous idea of sending a "Thomas Bear" to various friends and family members throughout the world.

  And so it was early on in May, a welcomed furry friend appeared during a very poorly time in the family.  I had hoped to blog about our visitor, but my time here in cyber space has been very remiss and I missed the opportunity.  I knew however that one day I would write about him and Thomas and so without further ado let me introduce you to:

 Aquinas Bear.

I cannot remember the name of the tree but Andy cuts and engraves the name of Thomas, his birth details and the words "with love" followed by a heart.  The heart of that family is their love for God and that love is then multiplied many times over in the people they meet in real life as well as online. 

Dear Sue, thank you for sharing Thomas with us and for your love, friendship and prayers across the miles.  May you experience God's presence in a very special way today as you celebrate Thomas' birth in your family.  Mother Mary, comfort the family with your loving presence, most especially during those moments of sorrow at a life not lived.  In Jesus, name.  Amen x 

 

Samhein, Saints and Soul Cakes

Samhein in the Celtic tradition celebrated the turning of the year.  The harvest had been gathered in and the earth rests for the duration of winter until the rebirth of spring.  The shortening of the days and the almost disappearance of the sun, led to an air of mystery.  The camp fire became the focus, tales were told and in the thin veil between dusk and darkness it was believed that the souls of those past would once more walk the earth.

The Christian church when preaching of the good news of Jesus Christ used the old religious festivals which had been an anchor point for many hundreds of years and re-established them according to the faith.  I know this is a moot point for many but I believe we can all learn from each other and nothing ever remains static.  Samhein became All Hallows' Eve where we honour the Saints in heaven and in the following day, the feast of All Souls we remember those gone before us.  In the catholic tradition November is a month designated to prayer for the Holy Souls.

The book of Revelation tells us we are fighting principalities from the spirit world and so it is hardly surprising that the real intention of the feast has been perpetrated by ghouls, demons and all manner of monsters!  All is not lost however and we know the ending turns out right as John's revelation tells us so!  On a practical level many churches in recent years have reclaimed the feast and named it "The night of light."  We as a family after having spent many years sitting in darkness and not opening our doors to kids with menace, decided to adopt our own spin and so we carve a cross on the pumpkin and hand out "soul cakes" to the unsuspecting few:

" A soul cake, a soul cake, please good missus a soul cake,
One for Peter, two for Paul and three for Him who made us all,
If you haven't got a penny a halfpenny will do,
If you haven't got a halfpenny then God Bless you!"

The saints were ordinary folk like you and me, persevering in their faith and trying to do all for love of God and others.  They went the extra mile however and some were martyred for their faith.  The Church acknowledges and sanctifies these holy men and women but for everyone recognised many more will walk the earth unnoticed.  Each and everyone of us is called to be a saint right where we are in the midst of our daily living.  When I find myself discouraged or overwhelmed I am reminded of that phrase, "Bloom where you are planted."

At the end of our days it is not the successes or acquisitions that count but our walk with Jesus.  Have we loved Him as much as we could?  Did we recognise His presence in others?  And did we speak out when others spoke out against Him and His teachings?  It is easy to casually share Jesus with others in conversation, much harder to put our heads above the parapet and challenge the perceived wisdom of the day.  When we do this we lay ourselves open to ridicule and we might even wonder was it really worth it?  However Jesus in Luke's gospel reminds us:

" I tell you if anyone openly declares himself for Me in the presence of human beings, the Son of Man will declare himself for him in the presence of Angels."  (Luke 12 v 8)

So if you are struggling with speaking out and sharing what God has laid on your heart; take comfort in these words and continue to respond to those heavenly nudges.

It is not for nothing that the theme of light is prevalent during these days of darkness.  One little known feast celebrated in some European countries and in many Waldorf Steiner schools throughout the world is the feast of Martinmas on the 11th November.  St Martin of Tours was a Roman soldier who as the story goes shared his cloak with a beggar and in his dreams that night, the beggar was revealed as Christ himself.  The feast reminds us to not only share with others in need but to be The Christ Light in the darkness of this world,

"I go out with my lantern,
My lantern goes out with me,
Above the stars are shining bright,
Down here on earth shine we."

It can be difficult however to let the light of Christ shine in us if we are hanging on to burdens, negative thought patterns and a critical and judgmental attitude.  Let Jesus take your burden from your shoulders; write down one thing that is troubling your spirit and hand it over to Him who understands you through and through.

Soul Cake Recipe

175 grams butter

80 grams caster sugar

3 eggs

450 grams plain flour

2 teaspoons mixed spice

100 grams currants

2 teaspoons baking powder

milk to mix

 

Mix all the ingredients together to form a thick cake batter.

Place in muffin cases and bake at 160c for 10-15 minutes.

 

Soul cakes are traditionally left plain but we decorated ours with icing sugar and sprinkles.  You can also make them gluten free by substituting regular flour for gluten free flour.

 

 

 

 

If you want to know how to make a simple Martinmas  lantern then check out this blog post from last year.  We used a combination of white and coloured tissue paper, PVA glue, black sugar paper and sticky stars.  The glass lantern has remained on our kitchen window sill throughout the year and is once being pressed into action as the days continue to shorten.

    

Saying Hello :-)

Some folks might have thought that I had fallen off the face of the earth but in truth life stuff got in the way and as in all things health, family and work come first.  We have celebrated a wedding anniversary, Dave's 50th, a new home school club for Pip, known as "Little Flowers" and I am part of a group of ladies taking part in a knitting design boot camp.  Add to this the daily round of chores, home school, after school clubs and twice weekly swimming for me and it is no wonder I have been missing from this tiny part of cyber space :-)

 First fire of the season on our wedding anniversary.

 Pip's sunflower cake made at Little Flowers on Monday.

Pip's decorated faith sheet and her memory verse at the bottom which she needs to learn before the next meeting in a fortnight.  We have a lovely CD with all the memory verses in musical format.  That verse is quite pertinent for us right now as a family, so I have adopted it as my own :-)

 

 Birthday boy, always smiling 

Hopefully I won't leave it so late before popping by again and thanks Ellie, for your prayers and concern xx 

Thursday Home Day :: Friday Sick Day

We had hoped to attend out usual home ed group today but a combination of ongoing pain on my part and a failed mobility scooter for Dave meant we stayed at home.  Naturally we were all disappointed but in true family fashion we made the best of our circumstances :-)  Pip had a go with her Singapore maths text and work book and enjoyed her lesson.

After lunch both kids watched the Wonder Quest programme on you tube whilst I lay down for an hour with a hot water bottle and waiting for analgesics to take effect.  After my rest time, Pip and I made scones together and these were enjoyed as part of our afternoon tea:

 Pip's job was to read the recipe and de code the numbers in grammes, she did a great job and here she is measuring carefully 300 grammes of gluten free flour.

Afternoon tea was followed by quiet time and Pip worked on a treasure map jigsaw:

 

Benedict struggled to settle to anything, we have been having continually whacky blood sugars and combined with pre-teen hormones and growth hormones, tempers have been a little frayed of late ;-)

The information evening at school was a total nightmare ~ parents were not allowed to air their concerns and basically it was a lecture from the head and staff members to inform parents of the many changes throughout the school.  Every day the numbers of unhappy parents muttering in the playground increases and some of the punishments meted out to the children are bordering on the barbaric; humiliation seems to be the current favourite of the month :-(  I am in the processes of writing a complaint based on the worrying so called "faith" changes and this will be copied to the chair of the governors (a priest), the head of the diocesan education centre (a canon) and the bishop. Needless to say the stress of it all, coupled with our daily difficulties tipped me over the edge and I suffered the worst migraine attack ever in a very long time.  The likelihood of Pip being withdrawn from the school gathers momentum daily, but we are waiting to see what response we will get after having raised our concerns.

We are off to visit family tomorrow ~ the kids miss seeing their grandparents and they miss seeing the kids.  We also get to hang out with Mary-Grace as Kath has to cover at work for staff shortages, not great for her since she already works a full week but nice for us :-)

Happy Friday Evening San x 

 

Sonlight Curriculum

This curriculum is an epic fail :-(  Benedict and I worked our way through scripture study, an introduction to world history and by the time we had read fourteen pages of the first chapter in The Golden Goblet, we were losing the will to live! Benedict was supposed to answer several questions pertaining to the chapter and neither he nor I could remember what had been read!!

The Sonlight Advisors however were extremely helpful and via an online chat conversation, it was agreed that I would return the core curriculum.  Thankfully we had paid extra for the love to learn guarantee and so will be refunded in full for the returned items, phew!  We are keeping the Singapore Maths books as these are a hit, so at least we have a win on something.  So it is back to the drawing board for me and I will be using the National Curriculum as a guide.

 

 
 To be fair the books themselves looked to be interesting but the curriculum also consisted of the weekly lesson plans.  This learning programme is not cheap and so a return is our best option.

An Up and Down Week

Up:

I completed my second swim session and spent most of it blowing bubbles under water and gliding!  It was quite a revelation to realise that, blowing out did not equate to an ingress of water in lungs and potential drowning :-)

Benedict had two friends for tea this week, Ollie on Tuesday and Roland on Wednesday.

Benedict has worked on maths problems this week.

Our Sonlight  curriculum arrived this week and Benedict has been busy reading one of the set books, of which there are many!  He is a happy boy :-)  I also escaped an import duty and for that I am eternally grateful.

We attended our Thursday Home Ed group and the kids had a great time, taking apart old machinery and building a den and fire pit in the woods.

Down:

Benedict attended diabetic clinic on Thursday morning and his blood averages are back up to 9.3mmol/l which is 78% and therefore way too high.  Overnight basals have been increased and he will be retested in a month.  He is currently experiencing a growth spurt and this has wreaked havoc on blood sugar control.

Dave was feeling unwell on the car journey from the clinic to the home ed group and so a motorway service stop was the order of the day and bang went the budget:

  

I have been in constant pain for weeks now and it is very wearying.  In addition I also had a really bad head this afternoon and crashed in bed for a few hours.  Dave was a stalwart and not only collected Pip from school but managed to make the tea with the help of the kids.

The school is having a Roald Dahl appreciation day I wonder if the new head will be going as this character?

 

First Day ~ Grade Two

Pip started back at school today under a new headship.  The school had an open day yesterday which I attended and I'm glad that I did.  The heart and soul has been ripped out of the place :-(  It has been replaced by an obsession with testing and targets, stupid unnecessary reward systems and break time detentions for anyone not wearing full uniform.  The school has had an unwarranted repainting and is now decked out in a ghastly red and cream colour scheme that is reminiscent of an institution. If I was looking for a school this place would not be my first choice.  The only saving grace is the fact that Pip's teacher is truly lovely and that her best buddy Beth was anxiously waiting for her in the classroom.  A sad day!

 Still Smiling.

Minecraft Workshop :: Swimming

This is a middle of the night posting since I am experiencing insomnia!

On Tuesday we visited Rheged for the "Raspberry Pi" computer coding workshop. Sadly the original event was changed last minute but both Benedict and Pip did spend some time in the computer labs with team from Lancaster University.  They were each given a design brief for a Minecraft world, Benedict created an apple orchard for the farm and Pip designed a farm house.  It was our first and only family outing of the summer! 

 We were quite excited and thought we were following a Tiny House until we saw the rest of the loaded items on the truck! 

 Hmm, definitely not a Tiny House and more of your regular build home, ah well!

 "We're not scared of the Enderman!"

 A Baby Ender Dragon.

 Benedict pretending to be scared of a creeper.

 It's amazing what you can do with several cardboard boxes, some paint and sticky backed plastic!  Blue Peter would have been proud!

 Concentrating Hard.

 I did ask why he was coloured all in blue to which she replied, " He's wearing diamond armour!"  Doh, mum!

 Where are Ben and Pip?!

Yesterday was Wednesday, not normally an eventful day in the 22 Household but:

This view and ...

... curly wet hair can only mean one thing!  Yes, I attended my swim session, the first time in over twelve years :-)

There was only myself and another lady attending and Helen the swimming instructor was just lovely.  I hadn't forgotten how to swim backstroke but I had remembered how much I absolutely hate going under the water and getting water up my nose!  I also practised treading water.  The half hour went all too quickly and although very overtired and sore (my back is jammed again) I will be back again next week!  

As an interesting side note when I woke first thing and was struggling with pain, I thought " I cannot be bothered to go swimming today."  But then I remembered stating my intention here in cyber space last week and most importantly the reason why I want to be confident in the water, which is to be able to take the kids swimming and so in reality there was no excuse!  I'd like to think that I also practised what I often "preach" to the kids and that is, if you've made a commitment you have to follow through :-)

 

Tea By The Sea and Other Stories

Pip completed her second swim intensive for the summer and the challenge was deep water confidence, she did very well and swims like a fish :-)  I have also set myself a challenge and that is to overcome my lack of confidence in the water and so I begin an improvers' class next Wednesday!

Pip has been ploughing through the read, write inc phonics books and has now finished set two and is moving on to the third set.  She also completed an assessment for Singapore Maths.  The test consisted of twenty questions incorporating a variety of mathematical concepts, number bonds, addition, subtraction, word puzzles, shape, size and sequencing.  The test was split into two parts with a significant rest break in between.

 The level of difficulty increased as the test progressed.

 Funny stories with Quentin Blake style illustrations.

Whilst Benedict was at the gym with Shein this morning, Pip enjoyed some quiet time with me and chose an interesting set of stories for her quiet time:

A real family favourite!

 

 

 

As a reward for all their efforts ( Ben sat his math assessment when he came home) we decided to buy fish and chips for tea and eat them at the seaside:

 

 Making the most of the sunshine.

 Tastes much better in the fresh air and a bonus for the parents no washing up!