Waving :-)

 An early start (unintentional) has meant a chance to access the computer and share a long overdue update.

  Dave came home on the 23rd November and although it is lovely having him home it is not without some considerable challenges.  For the first fortnight I didn't know if I was on my head or my feet, we had extra disability equipment delivered and rehab assistants twice daily watching him walk with a frame.  I often joke that he might be disabled but I'm chronically sick which means Dave is pretty well, it's just his legs that don't want to work properly.  I on the other hand live on a knife edge regarding my health and it doesn't take much to tip me over.  The stress of being thrown back into a full on caring roll triggered a really bad IBS and fibromyalgia flare which is still ongoing four weeks later.

Despite the cronky health we all soon settled into a rhythm and it was a good job too as I began my Doula training with Red Tent Doulas UK from 30th November - 16th December.  It was a case of now or never and since all the sessions were via Zoom and in smaller increments I knew I would manage.  I have wanted to train since Pip was small but previously I would have had to travel and be away for an entire weekend.  It was a real confidence boost being back in 'the classroom' and the other girls on the course were just lovely.  In order to qualify I have a self paced series of tasks, an essential reading list and a final piece to submit.  My plan is to do a little each day and hopefully it won't take too long to complete.

During the second week of training we had the downstairs bathroom converted into an accessible wet room for Dave and it was not without considerable challenges.  I was very relieved when everything was completed on that Friday evening and the workmen have done a lovely job.  The next major building work is replacing the kitchen door and installing a ramp at the back of the house. 

All my original home school plans went out the window way back in September, we have just about managed to keep up with some English and maths but everything else was shelved.  Pip did however complete her John Muir Discovery Award with Beacon Fell and received a certificate for all her efforts.  She kept a very detailed diary of each field trip and submitted a poster entitled "Access All Areas ... but not during a pandemic." 

 Pip mapped a low level route that in theory should have been accessible with Dave's mobility scooter but in reality was not feasible.  Normally Dave has access to the off road vehicle at Beacon Fell, but as the visitor centre is shut this is not currently an option.  As it so happened the ranger team were around for the presentation and they took a keen interest in some of her suggestions for making the fell more accessible. 

I'll leave with you some photos of Dave crossing the threshold for the first time since July and Pip's thank you card for the Sue Ryder staff.  Thank you for all your prayers and encouraging words these past months they really are appreciated x 

Hooray for being able to hug Dad :-)

A very special gift given to Dave by another fellow inmate - a really lovely young woman the same age as Emma and Kathryn.
 

All Sorts

For some inexplicable reason I had the sudden urge to sew a garment for myself and sew(!) I did :-)

 I think the fabric is a Liberty Lawn and the pattern is from the book, " Stylish Dress Book," by Yoshiko Tsukiori  Hindsight is a wonderful thing and therefore next time I would make a smaller size.  I almost had a disaster with one of the buttonholes which was a bit stressful and one side of the front hem hangs a little lower than the other, but not massively misaligned! 

 To save paper the designs are printed on both sides of the paper and do not contain seem allowances.  As a result I ended up tracing the sleeve design for another top which is in fact longer than the original pattern but regardless still works well with the blouse. Although the patterns instructions and images are relatively easy to follow, I wouldn't recommend this book for a first time sewist since some prior knowledge is helpful in working out the various configurations.  Having said that the designs are very versatile and comfortable and  I am looking forward to trying one of the dress patterns in the near future.

We received a lovely package in the mail from our blogging friend, Kezzie  In the parcel was a beautiful dress for me which fits every where apart from the bodice, so I will have to put my sewing skills to use with the help of my mother outlaw!  There was a super cute jumper for Pip which looks to be a bit small as she is quite muscular but I have an idea to morph it into something else :-)  There was also a bamboo tooth brush fro me to try as Kezzie is doing a mammoth job in not only reducing her plastic waste but also educating and encouraging other to do likewise.  Dave received a box of chocolates from Kezzie's end of year teachers' stash and the main purpose of the parcel was a t-shirt for Ben which fits perfectly and hasn't been off his back since!

Apologies for late night blurry image but I think it's safe to say that he approves!!

During one of our Saturday jaunts to Wesleys I did my usual thing of finding the thought for the day and I thought it was quite appropriate:

 I really felt in my heart that God was confirming and encouraging our decision to home educate and for me to make a real go of utilising my crafting skills as a means of sustainable part time employment at this end.  We might have plans but then life happens and the test is to make the best of where we are :-)  I think this family does a pretty good job of making the best of things and working together day by day.

Kathryn and Mary came to stop over the weekend and we had Mary whilst Kath attending a meeting on the Monday.  As usual it was lovely to see them and Mary had fun spending time with Pip.

I have made a start on subject preparations for September and we are currently working home school light at the moment, so far it is going well :-) 

Life Lately

Dealing - with glandular fever also known as the Epstein- Barr virus.  I had a blood test just over a week ago and the result came through on Monday.  GP will need to do another test in four weeks to ascertain which way things are going.  I have days when I hold my own and other days when I am floored and the inflammation in the glands is really bad with all out bone crushing fatigue.

We are also dealing with Pip struggling at school.  She likes her teacher and enjoys the lessons but is having difficulties with one of the girls in her class.  It got to the point last week that she broke down and sobbed for over an hour and couldn't eat her tea.  This was the same girl that was super keen that another girl was joining the year and within a matter of days she was ignoring Pip, refusing to share a map in the geography lesson and attempting to prevent Pip from playing with another kid.  I really do believe that school brings out the worst in folk. 

However we are fortunate in that the head agreed to flexi schooling as part of the transition period so Pip will be finishing at lunch time tomorrow.  Instead of taking part in the sports day she will be spending time with another home school family :-) 

I think things have been made worse as she has also been targeted by some of the girls in our local area.  They call for her then exclude her and when she stands her ground and refuses to put up with their mean spirited behaviour, they then chase her when she is trying to come home.  I have seen first hand how they are behaving as they hadn't realised I was in the garden at the time.  The whole situation has affected her confidence which is quite sad.  As is stands we are trying to make it to the end of term and will review whether or not she will return in September.

Celebrating - we celebrated Ben's 16th birthday on the 11th.  It was a fairly low key day but he enjoyed it all the same.  Ben has really grown in confidence this last year and has enjoyed his year at college.  He is also benefiting from his volunteering roles both at Wesley's and at church.  He is a real whizz on the petrol mower as he manoeuvres around the grave stones in the church cemetery!

 Opening cards and presents first thing.

 Chicken, vegetable and pesto past followed by low carb, no sugar birthday cake.

 Pouring a non alcoholic beer :-)

Thankful - for some happy mail that arrived in the post on Monday.

My friend Penelope Wilcock, author and blogger gifted me the first three books in her 'The Hawk and The Dove' series:

" The first book is written not so much as a consecutive narrative but as a series of short stories about a medieval monastery, contained within a modern setting in which a mother tells the storied to her daughter.

This structure and the somewhat naive style of the book came about not as mere whimsy but as a tribute to two particular medieval texts - Chaucer's Canterbury Tales and the Fioretti of St Francis of Assisi.

The Canterbury Tales employs the literary conceit of the frame tale, and the Fioretti gathers a sequence of short stories (not fictional) recording the early days of the Franciscan movement from which the Order began.

In writing The Hawk and The Dove, intrigued by the style and structure of these medieval texts, I constructed my novel similarly.  It also offered the balancing of the two worlds - the medieval and the modern, the monastic and the secular, the feminine and the masculine.  The second book, The Wounds of God I also crafted along the same lines.  In subsequent volumes in the series I wanted to tackle issues that did not lend themselves to this structure, so I set it aside for The Long Fall and the books that followed."

Pen's writings on her blog and her books whether they be fiction or non fiction really speak to my soul and lift my spirits time and time again.  We often have a blog conversation over on her site and she was aware that I was below par.  This gift was her way of encouraging me during the difficulties and her generosity is greatly appreciated.

I also received an intriguing package with a UK post mark and then remembered an email from my lovely friend Eva regarding a belated birthday treat.  See that cute little chicken on the right of the photo, it is keeping Our Lady of Walsingham company on our mantle piece!  Thank you Eva for thinking of me and cheering my day :-)

Sharing - some photos of this past week.

The Annual Solstice Fairy Day

The girls had fun playing the crazy golf at The Flower Bowl followed by sausage buns, fries and salad and another chocolate sugar free cake.  Pip's best buddy is a Harry Potter fan so when Pip and I saw the plushies at Aldi it was a no brainer!  It was good to see Pip smile, the first in a long time.  We have a sleep over treat organised with the girls during the summer break and they are both super excited.

A Beach Trip on A Sunday

Back in our old stomping ground, the sound of the waves, fun in the sand and the much welcomed cup of tea in The Midland Hotel.  A real tonic for us all :-)

Life Lately

Thanks to Kezzie for the prompts once again:-)

Watching:  the world go by and wondering where on earth is my place in the grand scheme of things!  So often I feel that I am being led down a path only to find another huge stumbling block in my way, so frustrating!

Playing: catch up once again on the blog and visiting online folks.  Thanks Penelope for dropping by to check if I am OK and giving me a much needed nudge to update on here :-)

Feeling: annoyed that my body continually lets me down.  Over four weeks ago I started with swollen glands in my neck and horrendous joint/bone pain in my feet and knees.  It hasn't gone away and at my recent GP appointment I have been prescribed anti inflammatory drugs as well as strong analgesics to deal with the pain.  If the glands have not gone down by next week then I will need to go back for another physical exam and blood tests.

Reading/Just Read:  "Unexpected Healing"  by Jennifer Rees Larcombe.  I have read several of her books and she writes with warmth, insight, honesty and humour.  I borrowed the book from the lending library at Wesley's today and could not put it down and it was finished this evening.  My next book from there is "Children and Prayer" by Betty Shannon Cloyd.  I also have this month's book club book but it is not looking hopeful, with swear words on the first few pages I am beginning to wonder what else is in store!  If it doesn't improve then it will be permanently shelved :-)

Disgusted by ...  politics, most especially those of a far right persuasion.  I am not a Tory voter and at times was frequently frustrated by Teresa May's dogged determination and unwillingness to encompass other views, but even I felt very sorry for her on Friday.   Class clown Boris Johnson and wooden top Andrea Leadsom as potential PMs?  Heaven help us!  And as for Frog Man Farage total dismay :-(  

Hoping ... like Kezzie that the Green Party get more European seats and that Farage falls down a rabbit hole!!  We were able to vote how we liked in the European elections as opposed to tactically voting and so the Green Party got our vote :-)

Dealing with ... changes.  Pip has started school at a local small village school, only 40 kids in the entire building.  She has been feeling increasingly isolated and this seemed like the best option to make friends at the moment.  As a result she has already made friends with a lovely girl, who is visiting tomorrow for the afternoon. 

 Her school attendance will only be for a year and then we will return to home schooling until she is old enough to attend Myerscough College.  We do have a local secondary school on our doorstep but it has major issues with retaining staff and dealing with quite severe bullying issues.  We know of one family where the boy aged twelve was threatened with a stabbing and the school did nothing to intervene.  As a result the victim is now being home schooled.

My childminding job for AJ will also finish in July.  It makes no sense looking after another person's child when my own is out of the house and in all honesty my pay has been way below the recommended childminding rate.  Essentially I have been working for welfare in that I have had a tick box for working my required 16 hours per week.  I have decided to return to the crafting and have already made contact with out local information centre who is currently looking for new makers to exhibit in the shop.

Caring:  for Dave last week when he had an eye infection and consequent MS wobble, cue a week of high dose steroids and antibiotic ointment for the eye.

 Ben's diabetes bloods have been a bit wobbly but despite that he has managed college and his volunteering jobs.  With regards to his education we had a profitable meeting with college advisers on Friday and now have a plan for his learning over the next three years.

Sharing: photos from the last few weeks

Oliver's Baptism

 It was so lovely to see Sara wear her wedding dress for the occasion.  The event was made even more special in that the priest conducting the service was our parish priest when the girls were small!  It was lovely to catch up and know that they will be well looked after in their parish at Grange.

Freeport Shopping Centre Fleetwood

On a lovely sunny day a few weeks ago we ventured forth to " Freeport Shopping Centre" near Fleetwood which is only a half hour drive from our home.  T-shirts, sandals and flasks were bought from the discounted outdoor wear shops.  We did have a coffee treat at Costa but saved money by bringing our own lunch.

Pondering:  will I actually make it back in this space?  I hope so :-)  

God Bless x 

An Update

My lovely friend Kezzie who pops by recently left a message asking was everything OK since I hadn't posted in a while.  When I go quiet here it is usually because either life stuff has got in the way or my health has taken a dip, it is the latter this time.  I have had another fibro flare and  it has been steadily creeping up on me since Christmas.  

Life with a chronic illness can be annoying, frustrating and disappointing.  Over time I have adjusted to the vagaries of unpredictability but even now it can catch me unawares and leave me feeling discombobulated!  I feel sorry for Ben and Pip as they look forward to events that might be highlighted on the calendar, only to find them cancelled last minute due to my health.  The most recent case in point a chance to meet Eva and her family who are over here from the States.  We should have met two years ago when they visited but yes you guessed it health got in the way and try as I might I haven't been able to make it work this time as well :-(  Truth be told, I don't even get to see my family who live just over an hour down the road!  

However it is not all doom and gloom and I try most days to look for the good and capture it where I can, so I thought I would share the goings on over the past few weeks in this post.  It will be a bit different though as I am going to borrow the suggestions found in Kezzie's recent blog post, so here is our weeks in VERBS! 


Watching:  Knitting podcasts :-)  These are my go to when I am not well, they are uplifting and informative.  I have found many a new pattern or yarn as a result of these podcasts!


Playing:  Not a musical instrument like Kezzie although in the dim and distant past I used to play the folk guitar and sing with a group of friends from high school.  We used to travel to the elderly folks' homes in the area and they were treated to a variety of songs, John Denver, Carly Simon and Abba!  However I did play a word game with Pip over tea today and we also had fun with a Doctor Who quiz whilst waiting for Mad Science to start this morning.  That Dr Who 2011 Album from the charity shop was well worth the 50p!


Eating:  The same old, same old anti candida diet :-)  In June it will have been a year exactly since I ate fruit, gluten free bread, honey and vinegar dressing, milk, cheese and anything containing sugar.  When Dave and I popped to Barton Grange for a breakfast date this week I gave the guy serving a headache with the dietary needs.  It was a straight forward meal for Dave but mine needed to be not only gluten free so no sausage but also no mushrooms, gluten free bread or baked beans.  His comment was priceless, " Er, so what can you eat?!!"  I did help him out and had a lovely meal of bacon, hash browns and scrambled egg.

Wearing:  Not " One Outfit 100 Days," although Julia aced the challenge and wore her  tunic dress every school day for 100 days.  She started the project in the late summer and added layers as the seasons changed.  I found her on Instagram as she was part way through the project and enjoyed cheering her on toward the finish line.  I do however have a small wardrobe and basically wear my clothes until they have holes in them and are no longer repairable.  I try and by second hand but more often than not my clothes are bought in the supermarket when I do the shopping!  It takes way too much precious energy to shlep around for clothes, so it is done sparingly.  Having said that, we are in Gloucester next week and Gloucester Quays is a place that houses 'seconds shops.'  This will be a chance to buy some good brands at reasonable prices and both kids are desperate for a few summer items.

Going To:  Gloucester next week.  Sadly Uncle Mike won't be there as he passed away on the 31st January but I'd like to think he would be pleased that we are still visiting the area.  It will be a lovely chance for Dave to meet one of his cousins and we will also be there when Uncle Mike's ashes are interred  in the local church grounds.  As usual Uncle Andy will be stopping with us and that dude always makes our holiday extra special :-)

Gobsmacked about ...  The Bonkers Brexit!  I don't think I have ever followed the political debate as much as this.  We have been fed a daily diet of the brexit debacle and I am heartily tired of the whole procedure.  I am hoping for a people's vote and if a credible solution cannot be reached that article 50 will be revoked.  Our new deadline date is the 31st October and Dave has dubbed it  ' Nightmare on Brexit Street!"

Reading:  Not enough!  I have a box of half finished library books beside my chair.  I think it is safe to say that I am spending too much knitting and crocheting.

Creating:  a pair of socks for me, a cardigan for Sara and a blanket for Pip.

  

Car knitting whilst waiting for Pip to finish Mad Science.

Over 250 stitches on the needles!  The cardigan is knit in one piece and then you section off the fronts, back and sleeves.  It is a Kate Davies design and is one I have had in my Ravelry library for quite some time, so it is nice to actually have it on the needles even if it isn't for me!

Failing:  at the 40 act challenges and the plastic free Lent, boo!  I have continued with reading the challenges and undertaking those that are feasible given my current health.  Being plastic free is so hard and our food bill shot through the roof, most embarrassing!  Last week I had to make the depressing decision to buy our vegetables and fruit from Aldi, which meant that most of the produce came wrapped in plastic bags.  We have however continued buying our meat from the butcher and have made swaps from laundry liquid to powder, bottled soap to bar soap and pasta in cardboard boxes.

Baking:  A yummy sugar free lemon curd and coconut cake!  It is a winner and will be taken along with some sugar free scones, jam (not for me) and cream for Ollie's baptism which is on the 27th April.

Listening to ... Ben rummaging in the kitchen cupboards!  After all it is nearly 10pm and he is a teenage diabetic boy, need I say any more :-)

Sharing:  some random things that have made me smile this week

 A beautiful Camilia flower at Barton Grange.

 Yummy cupcakes, most definitely not my diet friendly!

A fish and chip tea, mother and daughter date with one very tired, Pip.

Grateful:  for family, friends both near and far, and for you if you have managed to reach the bottom of this rambly update, God Bless You.  THANK YOU KEZZIE FOR THE FAB BLOG IDEA xx 

Living In Uncertain Times

The Budget was announced this Wednesday and as predicted the sick, disabled, lone parents and families on low incomes are the main target.

  The Government has a responsibility to manage the books but there is so much waste within internal departments that if efficiency were implemented in these areas savings could be made and then there is of course the unnecessary pay rise given to MP's including the PM himself and the ongoing fiddles regarding expenses which cost the nation a sizeable sum!

The effect on us as a family is as yet very unclear.  I have taken an online calculation that indicates nothing will change, apart from the fact that our tax credits will be frozen for the next four years.  However the Universal Credit is being rolled out and when that hits things will change.  My self employed earnings are a pittance.  I have some of my handmade items in a folksy shop but as a result of ongoing debilitating health issues I am unable to promote my goods.  Every time I try to make a step forward with regards to the business we are beset with problems from all sides.  Under the Universal Credit my " business" will be deemed unworkable as I am unable to meet the current minimum wage of £6.40 an hour and so our income will drop significantly.

We are also dealing with the fallout in health issues and once again that has been my reason for being absent here.  I try to work on a policy that if I am unable to make a positive contribution then I would rather remain silent but that is not an honest reflection of where we are as a family. 

I am currently living with an ME/fibromyalgia flare up that has been ongoing since March of this year.  I also had a worrying breast lump scare in amidst all of that and although the lump is benign the stress and worry took its toll.  Everything was exacerbated by trying to remain up beat for certain family members who cannot cope with sickness and so in order to placate them I was not honouring my own feelings and self worth.

Dave too is dealing with an MS deterioration and the children and I sit back and watch helplessly as he trips and stumbles through each day.   Dave has inherited a skewed attitude toward sickness and this  is now beginning to impact on the children.  When he fell and cut his knee yesterday he brushed away Benedict's obvious concern and this left Benedict feeling confused and sad.  I cannot change Dave's attitude toward sickness but I can validate and honour Benedict's feelings of love and concern for his Dad.

I have even battled with the question of continuing to write in this space.  When I first set out  it was to share our journey as a home schooling family but even that has not worked out as hoped!  We have a foot in both camps of school/unschooling and never the twain shall meet!  We have all of the hassles and none of the joys and throw in the age and gender difference between Benedict and Pip and you have a recipe for disaster :-)

However folk who know me say that I am a stalwart, a terrier when it comes to problem solving and most definitely not a quitter.  Therefore expect to see me popping by with the usual family and life updates as well as the odd recipe, web link or bible verse thrown in for good measure! 

I will leave you with a life verse given to me during a quiet time with God:

" The Lord is near, Do not be anxious about anything but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving present your requests to God.  And the peace of God which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy think on these things."

Catch up with you soon x