Sunday, 12 July 2015

Living In Uncertain Times

The Budget was announced this Wednesday and as predicted the sick, disabled, lone parents and families on low incomes are the main target.

  The Government has a responsibility to manage the books but there is so much waste within internal departments that if efficiency were implemented in these areas savings could be made and then there is of course the unnecessary pay rise given to MP's including the PM himself and the ongoing fiddles regarding expenses which cost the nation a sizeable sum!

The effect on us as a family is as yet very unclear.  I have taken an online calculation that indicates nothing will change, apart from the fact that our tax credits will be frozen for the next four years.  However the Universal Credit is being rolled out and when that hits things will change.  My self employed earnings are a pittance.  I have some of my handmade items in a folksy shop but as a result of ongoing debilitating health issues I am unable to promote my goods.  Every time I try to make a step forward with regards to the business we are beset with problems from all sides.  Under the Universal Credit my " business" will be deemed unworkable as I am unable to meet the current minimum wage of £6.40 an hour and so our income will drop significantly.

We are also dealing with the fallout in health issues and once again that has been my reason for being absent here.  I try to work on a policy that if I am unable to make a positive contribution then I would rather remain silent but that is not an honest reflection of where we are as a family. 

I am currently living with an ME/fibromyalgia flare up that has been ongoing since March of this year.  I also had a worrying breast lump scare in amidst all of that and although the lump is benign the stress and worry took its toll.  Everything was exacerbated by trying to remain up beat for certain family members who cannot cope with sickness and so in order to placate them I was not honouring my own feelings and self worth.

Dave too is dealing with an MS deterioration and the children and I sit back and watch helplessly as he trips and stumbles through each day.   Dave has inherited a skewed attitude toward sickness and this  is now beginning to impact on the children.  When he fell and cut his knee yesterday he brushed away Benedict's obvious concern and this left Benedict feeling confused and sad.  I cannot change Dave's attitude toward sickness but I can validate and honour Benedict's feelings of love and concern for his Dad.

I have even battled with the question of continuing to write in this space.  When I first set out  it was to share our journey as a home schooling family but even that has not worked out as hoped!  We have a foot in both camps of school/unschooling and never the twain shall meet!  We have all of the hassles and none of the joys and throw in the age and gender difference between Benedict and Pip and you have a recipe for disaster :-)

However folk who know me say that I am a stalwart, a terrier when it comes to problem solving and most definitely not a quitter.  Therefore expect to see me popping by with the usual family and life updates as well as the odd recipe, web link or bible verse thrown in for good measure! 

I will leave you with a life verse given to me during a quiet time with God:

" The Lord is near, Do not be anxious about anything but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving present your requests to God.  And the peace of God which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy think on these things."

Catch up with you soon x


Jacqui said...

I hear you, San. I suppose a terrier is a good description but you have such grace in how you handle the difficulties you face. I am thinking of you, praying for you and sending all my love xxx

dorinalouise said...

Dearest San, You are always in our hearts and prayers! And I love reading your blog and I know it's not an easy thing to keep up with, so I hope you continue in waves with it . . taking a break . . coming back . . taking a break . . and coming back . . :) It's kind of like a modern journal, and in that respect it's an important and healthy activity. As each year rolls by I realize how difficult life is, but we keep on plugging away because it's all about learning from ourselves and each other and growing closer to one another and to God. I send you a big hug and hold you close in my heart . . xoxoxo

Sandra Ann said...

Thank you for your encouraging words, love and prayers xx