The stamping of feet in my head increases steadily as does the screaming voice, "But I don't want to!"
I don't want to carry this cross anymore,
I want to hand it back,
I have had enough.
It's not what I would have chosen anyway,
God got it wrong,
Does He really know what He is doing?!
These thoughts have tormented me today.
Just for today I cannot see the sense in the suffering and I really do question my place here on earth. Did I really come into being just for the sole purpose of being a sick person, an unpaid carer and a voice crying in the wilderness?
The frustration rankles me and what peace there may have been at the beginning of the day, has for sure waned by the day's end.
Then in the silence of the writing these words won't let me go:
Be still and know:
That I am God.
That I love you.
That My Son gave His life for you.
That all is not lost.
That I see your pain.
That I am with you every moment of every day.
That in your darkest moments I Am The Light.
That nothing is wasted.
That I make all things new.
That all will be revealed.
That there is an answer to your why?
Keep hoping, keep trusting and keep your eyes on ME.
Your loving Father in Heaven x